Monday, 1 October 2007

Fatally Flawed

16 hours after my last post and we have made precisely NO progress with the whole "laying the carpets" thing.

Ok, that's not quite true. We've got our old fridge out of the kitchen in readiness and done some other bits of tidying up. But that's about it.

The fitter eventually turned up at about 9.45. Just 45 minutes late, then. We first suspected there was a problem from the discouraging way he said "oh" when he saw that there was still furniture in the room. He didn't realise that we'd paid good money for him and his trained monkey to shift the furniture and started tutting at us about this. So we shifted some stuff, they shifted other stuff.

Then the real fun began. The whole walking-around-shaking-his-head bit started just after that and he got really worried as it dawned on him that he'd have to lay a floor, rather than stand around drinking tea all day.

So the excuses started rolling in. The floor was too uneven. It had too many lumps. And hollow bits. And ridges too. In fact it was generally lacking in flat bits. And the planks of laminate were too big to fit in the cloakroom. And he didn't have enough sugar in his tea.

Apparently, laying a plywood subfloor on some parts of it and a concrete screed to level the other areas somehow wouldn't work and we'd end up with a floor that moved around more than a plate of spaghetti and bounced more than a springboard and he just wasn't prepared to do it. Instead, he recommended we have a completely different, and much more expensive, type of floor.

I was getting a bit stressed by this. I already knew that Paul the Builder had left the floor in a bit of a mess, but we'd been promised that this could be sorted, now it seems it could not. "Ugh!" I joked to the fitter, "I think I need a valium." He shot back with "I've got some in the van, if you like" and the room fell silent. After another awkward minute, he felt compelled to clarify "It's not because I'm mad or nothing, I've just got a bad back."

OK, thanks for that.

So, he put us in such a downer that he decided to go back to the warehouse and talk to his boss to see what could be done for us.

A while later, we get a phonecall from the boss. We talk through the problem. He can't understand what the fitter is talking about; he and I agree what we're expecting and can't see why the fitter had a problem. I ask him to talk to the fitter some more and let us know what our options are.

He calls back saying that he's found the problem. Apparently the fitter has turned into a workshy prima donna and has been sacked. He'll get the other guy to fit the kitchen and then do our carpets later in the week.

Bloody typical.

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